Sexuality is frequently (London Mistress) a subject that people intentionally avoid discussing.
Sex is both unique and not unique in many ways. It’s inevitable that you’ll end up fucking yourself, and BDSM is no exception (though there are certain caveats that I’ll discuss in a moment).
Irregardless of what you think, feel or who you are, you’re going to express it all while in bed. If you’re having a difficult time relating to sex, know that you’re not the only one, and that your feelings of anxiety, fear, pent-up anger, and other negative emotions are perfectly normal.
As an example, if you were raised to believe that women are weak and subservient by nature, you’ll carry that belief into your relationships, even if it wasn’t your intention to do so at the time.
Shame, dread, contempt, and disgust are all sensations that may be dragged into sex if you’ve learnt to associate them with sex over time.
Pegging Mistress London says, Just as hard as you pull them into BDSM, you will draw them into vanilla sex. People who shun BDSM because they are terrified of their impulses will act on those urges in vanilla relationships and lie to themselves about their behaviour, their goal, and what it means. This is the difference when it comes to BDSM, in my perspective. As a result, they’ll be cruel to their relationships, blame them for their behaviour, and mistreat their partners while claiming that they’re “better” people for avoiding the BDSM activities that interest them.
To blame the partner for their bad behaviour, they’ll burn their relationships to the ground and salt the land, then continue their search for a new one.
You may certainly have harmful behaviours and abusive relationships if you combine this with the fact that individuals tend to be very hesitant to speak about their sexuality, but you’ll find plenty of them in vanilla relationships as well.
BDSM has a snag because the behaviours that individuals participate in under that banner need acute, even harsh, honesty with themselves and with their partners. There is a fine line between being courageous enough to confront what you’re attracted to without the desire-gilding of passion, and being prepared to accept criticism on what you’ve done.
It’s common for people to be drawn to BDSM’s appearance because of a personal connection to it. A variety of reasons, including the belief that it would “prove” something about them that they feel is denied in their daily lives, or that it indicates something about them that validates their demands or needs, and a whole host of other reasons, including enjoyment. As a result, they aren’t ready to handle sexuality as if it can be healthy, much less be honest with themselves about what they want.